Adventures In Unemployment

Made a new break in my quest for employment. I had a visit with the career resource center on campus and they told me about all these different agencies that work on finding jobs and internships for college students. The good people at the CRC are helping me become a master of my domain. Finding a part time job hasn't become any easier though. I'm looking in on working as a realtor. I also hear that Dunkin Donuts is hiring so hot dog. I can't wait to sneak bites of a bavarian cream filled donut while shooing away the flies. I like their coffee, though. That's pretty irrelevant as I don't drink coffee. I could be a pizza delivery driver but I hear that's is easy job to get killed doing. Second only behind taxi driver. Am I willing to die over some pizza? I hope that's not on the job application.

So since I don't have a job, what the fuck is it I do all day? Writing for this blog and stand up material are obvious answers but they don't take up a great part of my day. Here are some other ways I pass the time.

Masturbating: I guess this is an obvious answer also. I wake up at about 1pm and start surfing for porn on the internet to take care of my afternoon wood. I like the ones with a story but I can never seem to make it to the end.

Fantasy Baseball: I think about chicks in tight t-shirts boning on the infield grass. That and scream at Mark Texiera for having a .220 batting average.

Wishing: Mostly this consists of hoping Wells Fargo starts billing someone else for me credit card charges and that person is a billionaire with no time to check his charges and just pays my bill without complaining about it. I wish for that and a Panda Express to be a wing in my house.

That's enough of this. Let's just wish for more wishes like any smart person would.

"Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning."