Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thought Bubble

What's the timetable on hopelessness? I'm not saying I'm at that point. I'm just asking. This is Day 19 in my post grad career. I've applied for eight jobs within the last four days and I haven't gotten an email reply yet. It is premature to hit the panic button but it certainly isn't encouraging either. Being home a lot leaves me thinking about a lot of different things. Some of them bizarre. Some of them just mundane. Matter of fact, if I pause for a moment, I can let you all in on what is going on in the wheelhouse.

Thought #1: Windshield wiper fluid. I love it. I love it because it is the simplest most inexpensive problem to fix on a vehicle. You can get a giant jug for a dollar and it is more than enough to fill the container. It makes me feel like a competent human being when my Kia is thirsty for that fluid and I can quench it without breaking a sweat. It makes me wish everything else in my life was this simple. Why can't women like things that are incredibly cost inefficient?

Thought #2: I have to be more honest with myself. I get so afraid of failing or people seeing me as incompetent that I lie about my ability. I convince myself that there is no task too tall but end up creating a bigger mess than there is to start with. This happened last week when I tried to help Niccolo mount his flat screen television on the wall. I really wanted to help and was ready to drill holes into his wall without really knowing what I was doing. It ended up being more embarrassing than if I had just admitted I didn't know how to do it in the first place.

Thought #3: One of my favorite bands is Bomb The Music Industry! They've got a lot of songs about being broke, drinking a lot, not being able to grow up and overall not feeling like a million bucks. I can't help but feel like my life mirrors these topics. In particular there's a line in one song that reads "I'm always waking up hating that life ain't perfect." I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way. I want to find my utopia and I hope it takes as little as possible to build it. As long as it has baseball, wrestling, alcohol and women, I'll live comfortably.

Thought #4: I wish I was a member of the Monster Squad.

That's enough of that. Time to play video games and think about a possible career in clam digging.

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