(Side Note: I just googled Tank Abbott to make sure I spelled it correctly and found a link about DMX's MMA career. Apparently, he was suppose to fight his manager in his MMA debut but when people found out it was rigged, they called off the fight. DMX has to be the biggest fake gangster of all time.)
So Chuck Liddell wants me to do some filing, make some phone calls, exploit low-income families and all the other usual stuff. He's sending me a check to go buy a laminator and a paper cutter. Laminating will no doubt become a new hobby of mine. Chuck Liddell seems like a cool guy as per our email interactions thus far and I doubt he is trying to solicit me for gay sex.
Now Tank Abbott is offering me $450 a week for my services but he's asking me to get involved in his personal life. One of the first things that I've been asked to do is help organize a surprise party for her daughter. I have no idea how old the daughter is so I'm going to go ahead and plan a party that covers all the age ranges. I'll go ahead and hire a clown, set up an open bar and get my friend Jacob to dress up like Edward Cullen. You know, the more that I think about it, I might just go ahead and plan that party for myself. The only thing missing is some red velvet cake.
Pretty soon, I'll have to decide which of these jobs I'm going to take. I'm leaning more towards working for Chuck Liddell because he isn't asking me to be around his children. I may just juggle both and quit on the guy I get sick of first. Either way, it's about damn time I start earning some money because I haven't held a paying job in over a year and my dad has stopped sending me checks.
"The funky chicken was Charlie's dance. I'm a tango man myself."
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