All The Live Long Day

Having a job is nothing new to me. I had a job throughout high school and I was happy making $7.00 an hour serving popcorn and mopping up Icee spills. Then I got lazy and didn't work for more than a year. But good news, folks. I broke my sobriety today. My friend Niccolo got me a freelance gig doing video editing at his company. What a joy it will be to receive a paycheck once again.
5:00a.m.- Woke up. Why am I awake? I have to be at work by 6. God is punishing me.

5:50a.m.- Show up to work early because I'm a good boy. The project is presented to me. Some company named PGI is going to be eating breakfast at the Westin Diplomat hotel. The hotel is desperate for them to have lots of meals there and other things so I have been assigned to film the experience and edit it together so the hotel can send it to the people of PGI next week. PGI will remember the good times they had eating passion fruit frozen yogurt lollipops with chef Dave Haskett and pour lots of money into said hotel. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bizarre sales approach? If I like the food, I'll come back. Wendy's never sent me a video of me eating a double stack I found in a waste bin but still found too delicious to pass up and I still rifle through their trash.

8:50a.m.- The clients show up. The hotel has printed out labels of the PGI logo and stuck them onto all the cans and jars in the kitchen in a bizarre act of kissing up. I film them eating quince paste and pata negra. My employer informs me to make the video intense.

10:15a.m.- The shoot ends as the fat cats are too indulged to finish there shrimp tamales and guava white chocolate custard. I am reminded to make the video intense. The definition of intense in this scenario is beyond me.

2:27p.m.- All the footage finally uploads but one of the tapes was damaged so I must now make an intense video with half the footage I intended to use. I am given a list of pre-approved songs I can use in the video. I choose the most intense one. That being Almost Ready by Dinosaur Jr. My employer tells me the song needs to be more controlled but still lively. My other music choices are steel drums and some flute junk. None of it particularly intense. I stick with Dinosaur Jr. and stick it to me employer.

4:36p.m.- The video only has to be 2 minutes but my employer says it needs to be tighter. He gives me still photos and tells me to make a power point. What happened to the video? I begin to yell at everyone. Niccolo tells me to make it more exciting. PGI is probably going to throw this away once they get it in the mail. I hate life.

5:13p.m.- I write down other career options on a note pad. "Substitute teacher, mortician, defining the word intense for everyone..." I'm coming up on having worked for 12 hours and it's getting to me. Why did I ever graduate college? I should go get a master's.

6:07p.m.- Fuck everything. I leave. I thank Niccolo for the job opportunity and leave. It's not that I can't do this. It's that it pains me too. All these people are completely phony and my work is meaningless. I don't want to work in an office and I never want to wear a tie to work. I'll work to live but I never want to live to work.

I gave the real world a shot, folks. It's not really as bad as I made it out to be. I got paid $10 an hour to edit some videos which is of course better than working at Sears in my eyes. I hate the complain but I still got too many dreams I want to achieve. I'll do what it takes to get there and I'll live in office purgatory until I get there. I'm thankful for the experience because I learned something about myself.

8:43p.m.- Back to work on the video. It needs to be done in the morning. Feel my struggle.

9:47p.m.- Got fired. How in the fuck?