This week marked my first week working for Destiny Infinity Financial Solutions. So far it has to be the best job I've ever had. No one makes me clean anything or asks me to carry something heavy. They ask me to make copies of documents and talk on the phone for most of the day. I'm even able to sandbag how hard I'm working by just staring at a folder for ten minutes while I think about new soup selections to submit to Chef Boyardee. (I've got a good feeling about ice cream pizza, especially if it is turkey flavored.) I get to leave every day at 3pm and I get fridays off. Where has this job been waiting for me all my life? I could probably get all of my work done by 1pm if I used my full potential but I'm trying to accumulate hours and make some money. Wrestling rings aren't free, folks.
Part of my many tasks is to update the company's facebook page. This involves posting on the everyone's wall. That let me get creative with it. I tend to go the silly route by personifying bad credit by explaining all of the horrible things I want to do to it like sodomy. But if they don't 'like' the comment without a matter of days then I threaten to unfriend them and update my status to say "Wendy Schlosser could pay her bills on time if she stopped spending so much money on black tar heroin." So call Destiny Infinity Solutions and sodomize bad credit.
"Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker!"
No comments:
Post a Comment