Skullsplitter.

This week I have returned to my hometown of North Miami Beach where it all started. My education, my goals and the molding of my personality. I left high school aspiring to be a great director and as it stands I am an aspiring comedian with a job in finance. The job in finance is funny considering how I never took a course in the field. In fact, the closest I've come to anything related was a microeconomics course I took my second year of college which I withdrew from because I didn't understand the whole robots & pizza, butter & guns analogy. Why do the robots need pizza? At least it's not robots & guns. Then we'd be witnessing the rise of the machines. I blame you James Cameron. So if you need help repairing your credit call Paul Brawl at 352-374-7020 to make the rain clouds go away. But don't call after the three because I use the rest of the afternoon to read wrestling forums. Don't call on Friday either. I use that day to work on my remake of the Bring It On movies on my pool deck. My dog Sammy is gunning for Jesse Bradford's role.

For more solemn news, I had to cancel the date for a show I was going to do in Miami. I was going to feature for my friend JC Currais but the date coincides with my official start date at my new job. So that's that. I've been singing the "There will be other opportunities song" all day.

On my way home to Miami yesterday I remembered how I got into this magnet school called Rainbow Park for my fourth grade year. It was exciting because I was going to work strictly in broadcasting and video production work. I had always wanted to be on the announcements and it was finally going to happen. I only spent one day at the school because the bus transportation system was screwed up. The first day the bus picked me up an hour after class started and the next day it didn't come at all. My dad was fed up with it and enrolled me back in Greynolds Park where I could easily walk to. I wasn't given the opportunity to do any broadcast work again until my junior year of high school.
I think about how much more skilled I'd be with a camera had things at Rainbow park had worked out. I can't imagine how different I would be now. I'm not even sure I would've ended up at UF and have the friends I have now which are invaluable to me. The question is would I give up the life as I know it now in order to have the job and career I always imagined myself to have. This kind of think creates a splitting headache.

"Jake, they took my penis."