This Skin Don't Fit Me

Here is my latest thought dwelling in my mind. My friends are moving on. By the end of the month I will have lost two of my friends as they sail away to start new chapters of their life. Meanwhile, here I'll be baking donuts. I've known about them leaving for quite awhile now. It just didn't really until yesterday when my one friend gave me the exact date she's leaving. My still being in my college town makes me worry. It makes me worry that I'm stunting my growth and I won't learn anything new about myself until I embark on a new journey to a new town. Oh, how I wish I was more adventurous but in reality I play it safe. I try to make as little changes as I can to my life.

What's bugging me is how I compare college graduation to high school graduation. When I graduated high school, I was the one leaving town with my friends staying behind. It was scary but I ended up being better for it. They were proud of me and always made sure I was handling myself well in college. Now, I've graduated college and I'm on the other side of the fence. I'm watching my friends ship off and hoping they'll send me back a postcard.

This where I start playing should have, could have. I think about where I'd be right now if I got into film school. Probably more relieved because I would have the next two years of my life already figured out for me. I'd be saying goodbye to everyone by the end of the summer and they would think to themselves as I drove off, "There goes Paul. That guy is going to make all of us proud." I want to get excited about something but I don't think I can make it happen without risking a lot. Not without giving up all the foundation I've got built up here in Gainesville. I know I can't stay here forever. It is all a matter of how long I can stay and where the hell will I go after.

"Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts."