Special Delivery

This morning at work, all I had to do was drive the truck and make donut deliveries. Didn't have to answer to anyone. Just me driving around while listening to Them Crooked Vultures. Another reason that I like doing deliveries is that I get to be the mysteriously cute delivery guy. You know who I'm talking about. The guy involved in the subplot of a romantic comedy that is restricted to the lines, "Morning," and "Sign here, please." There are some cashier girls who look forward to me hauling in a shipment every morning because it gives them a few moments to fantasize and forget about their wasted lives. That's the guy I demand to be and I demand to get my regular rate of $7.75 an hour to do it.

None of that might matter though. You see, earlier this week I had a job interview with a finance firm called Destiny Infinity. They help people with credit restoration and financial advisement. I would work as a direct assistant to one of the agents. Not like when I was a money mule. I've actually met him. He subscribes to a lot of my life's philosophies and appreciates my flair for creativity. The majority of the clientele is single mothers. The people over at Destiny Infinity are very personable and they have a genuine passion for helping people who need it. This is exactly the kind of environment I want to be a part of. Plus, I could stand to learn a thing or two about learning finances. These days, finances are incorporated into every facet of your life. I have a second interview with the board of directors next week so here's hoping my days at Dunkin' Donuts are numbered. I burned myself pretty good on the oven last week and there will be a scar. I'm going to have to tell chicks that I fought something firey like a hell demon or a charizard.

One last note, I inquired about studying film at Miami International University. Their program seems pretty solid on paper. I also had a very lengthy conversation with the program director and she sold me pretty well on the idea of moving back home and shooting flicks like Dan Eckman told me for the next few years. Things are looking brighter.

"Man, you better get yourself a castrato for this, 'cause it's a little out of my range."

Boy, Decide

Do you ever feel guilty for getting what you want? The last week had my father and I sort of arguing over whether I could get a professional camcorder. He made the argument that I don't know how to use it so I should take some courses or workshops that way I'm not ill prepared when I get it. This is part of his plan to get me back into school as soon as possible. My argument was that I can easily learn by doing. It is the advice I've heard from many film makers including Robert Rodriguez and Dan Eckman. I actually got to meet Dan Eckman and he told me to just go out and shoot some flicks. I am all for this idea because the concept of more school is pretty blah for me right now.

My father eventually agreed to buy me the camera but I feel like I did it through incessant whining and complaining. You know, he's not buying it for me because he's impressed with any work I've done. Perhaps, there's another route I could've taken but it's foolish to keep flip flopping on the issue. I think I'll just get my camera and shoot some flicks.

I guess I'm stubborn about going back to school because I'll feel like I'm admitting I wasted my four years of college education. Sort of like I was studying all of this stuff when I really should've been studying that stuff. I studied film and media but there were only two production courses offered through the department and they were both very strict about not adhering to any sort of narrative structure, which is what I love to do. Then yesterday I helped my buddy Tim out was his video project. He was shooting a commercial for Smokin' Notes. He's a telecommunications major. Now, I'm realizing I'd rather had been doing stuff like that instead of analyzing the subtext of Decasia.

There are only so many things we're allowed to do in this life and only so many things we can reasonably accomplish well. That's got to be the reason people are living longer. We could all use an extra 5 or 10 years to make sure we really make an imprint on the fabric of time.

"Have you ever been a communist? Have you ever been attacked by a crow or similar large bird?"

Birthday Bash

I had an awesome birthday this year. A bunch of my friends and I went out to a bar that featured laser tag. For the reasonable price of $25 a person, they allowed us to drink as much beer and play as much laser tag as we wanted. I've been thinking about birthday extravaganzas what with my friend Calvin's birthday coming up this week and the fact that I caught an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen. Once upon a time, I thought the show had a strange charm to it but now it is nothing but a collage of whiny children and their spoiled lives. On my sixteenth birthday I went to the movies to see Dawn of the Dead. Beat that sweet sixteen.

Anyway, every one on this show has to plan out a grand entrance for their party. Some people show up riding an elephant. Others are shot out of a canon and some even simply walk in through the front door. I want to have a birthday party with such a grand entrance and here is exactly how it would go:

There would be a wrestling ring front and center. My friends JC and Dave would be standing in the middle of it with microphones. They would introduce me as the birthday boy and I would walk to the ring. They would praise me and they would raise my arms in the air, heralding me as a champion. Then, jealously turns it's ugly head. Dave points out that he has never received any sort of ceremony like this. JC agrees. In fact, he believes that him and Dave gave been overlooked when it comes to being given birthday party extravaganzas. I try to reason with them. Try to explain that their time will come. They respond, "Waiting is for suckers. Why wait; when you can take?"

They gloves come off and they start pummeling me. I get nailed with clothesline after clothesline. My buddy Kameron hits the ring to aid me but the numbers game catches up to him. It is an all out assault as they take off their belts and start whipping us. It looks like the party has been ruined until over the loudspeakers: "I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD!"

Randy Orton is the surprise special guest at my party. He hits the ring. JC swings a belt at him but Orton ducks. Boom! RKO to JC. Dave runs at Orton but falls victim to a powerslam. Orton starts hulking up, stocking his pray. Dave rises to his feet to suddenly be brought back down with an RKO. The day has been saved. Randy helps Kam and I to our feet. We raise our arms up in triumph but then boom! Randy Orton hits me and Kam with a double RKO but that's okay. He's the viper. That's what he does.

That was incredibly dorky of me to write about but goddammit; it was exciting too.

"The plan is you drink a nice tall glass of Shut The Fuck Up!"

Candlestick Park

Yesterday was the 4th of July and while I couldn't spend it with my family like I usually do. I did spend it with the next best thing, my comic family. We all drove up to a ranch owned by my friend Jacob's family. We all sat down drinking beers and eating delicious smoked ribs. JC and I came up with a 4th of July themed restaurant. It would feature cuts of steak cut into shape of the U.S. Then, a side of mashed potatoes and a side of cole slaw to represent Hawaii and Alaska. Also, some steak sauce poured across to cut to simulate the red stripes on the American flag. Every time this dish is served, the staff must sing America The Beautiful but with slightly different song lyrics including, "Amber waves of gravy." It is because we live in America that let's me know this dream isn't hard to accomplish.

Later in the evening we got a hold of some Roman candles. I was running around with one; pretending I was a wizard. JC suggested that me and my friend Chris both light one and have a Harry Potter fight against each other. Because we are easily manipulated, we said yes. The terms were that we would stand 10 feet away, with our backs turned toward each other. Then, we would light the candles and start dueling. Wouldn't you know it? My lighter doesn't work at first. I panic and start running around while Chris fires at me. My lighter finally works and I fire at Chris. I miss and end up shooting the house. Jacob's mom runs out and puts an end to the shenanigans. It may have been dumb but goddamn did it feel good to be twelve years old again.

On another note, I learned how to drive the truck at work. I had to ride around with my supervisor. We talked and I got to know him well. He told me about his two sons, Lyle and Kyle. He told me about how Lyle had passed away two years ago and Kyle had recently had surgery. I told him about how I had recently graduated from college. He then mentioned he got done registering his son for college. The funny thing is, he specified that it was Kyle that was going to college. Well, thank goodness. Could you imagine your first day of college if Lyle was your room mate? "Hey, what's up? I'm Paul. What's your name?..... Don't talk much do you?.... Don't move much either.... Is that rigor mortis you got there?"

Never give up and seeking bliss.

"So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it."

This Skin Don't Fit Me

Here is my latest thought dwelling in my mind. My friends are moving on. By the end of the month I will have lost two of my friends as they sail away to start new chapters of their life. Meanwhile, here I'll be baking donuts. I've known about them leaving for quite awhile now. It just didn't really until yesterday when my one friend gave me the exact date she's leaving. My still being in my college town makes me worry. It makes me worry that I'm stunting my growth and I won't learn anything new about myself until I embark on a new journey to a new town. Oh, how I wish I was more adventurous but in reality I play it safe. I try to make as little changes as I can to my life.

What's bugging me is how I compare college graduation to high school graduation. When I graduated high school, I was the one leaving town with my friends staying behind. It was scary but I ended up being better for it. They were proud of me and always made sure I was handling myself well in college. Now, I've graduated college and I'm on the other side of the fence. I'm watching my friends ship off and hoping they'll send me back a postcard.

This where I start playing should have, could have. I think about where I'd be right now if I got into film school. Probably more relieved because I would have the next two years of my life already figured out for me. I'd be saying goodbye to everyone by the end of the summer and they would think to themselves as I drove off, "There goes Paul. That guy is going to make all of us proud." I want to get excited about something but I don't think I can make it happen without risking a lot. Not without giving up all the foundation I've got built up here in Gainesville. I know I can't stay here forever. It is all a matter of how long I can stay and where the hell will I go after.

"Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts."